T E R M S-O F-S E R V I C E


OVERVIEW

This dumpster fire of a website is operated by 172.23.237.111:8888 (we call it “Duck’s Den”). Here, “we”, “us”, “our” = the ducks running the show.


By clicking around or buying our weird stuff, you’re joining our “Chaos Service” and agreeing to these rules (no whiny exceptions). These terms apply to everyone — browsers, perverts, meme lords, and people who accidentally clicked here.


Read this crap carefully. If you don’t agree, gtfo. We mean it.


We might tweak these rules later (ducks change their minds). Check back occasionally — if you keep using the site after we mess with things, that means you’re cool with it.



SECTION 1 - WHO GETS TO PLAY?

  • You gotta be at least 18 (or the “adult age” in your country). No kids. We’ll hunt you down if we catch a minor here (not really, but we’ll delete your data and block you).
  • Don’t use our toys for illegal crap. If you break laws with them, that’s on you — we’re not your lawyer.
  • No viruses, worms, or “destructive code” (we’re chaotic, not idiots). Mess with our site, and we’ll boot you faster than a duck from a pond.



SECTION 2 - OUR RIGHT TO BE DICKS (POLITELY)

  • We can refuse service to anyone. Hate your vibe? Bye.
  • Your data (not credit cards) might float around unencrypted — that’s how the internet works. But your card info? Locked up tighter than our warehouse after dark.
  • Don’t copy, resell, or steal our stuff. We’ll send the duck police (they’re mean) if you do.



SECTION 3 - INFO ON THIS SITE: TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

  • We try to be accurate, but sometimes we’re drunk. Prices, pics, and descriptions might be wrong — don’t sue us over it.
  • Old info stays up because ducks are lazy. Check dates before you trust it.



SECTION 4 - PRICES & STUFF CAN CHANGE (DEAL WITH IT)

  • Prices go up, prices go down. We won’t text you about it — that’s what checkouts are for.
  • We might yank products or features anytime. No refunds for “but I loved that tentacle toy”.



SECTION 5 - OUR WEIRD MERCH

  • Most stuff is online-only (duh). Returns? Check our “Duck’s No Regrets Policy” (you know, the one with the memes).
  • We try to show colors right, but your screen might lie. Don’t yell at us if the pink vibe is “more magenta” — we’re not interior designers.
  • We can limit how much you buy (no hoarding, resellers). If we think you’re a scalper, we’ll cancel your order.



SECTION 6 - BILLING: DON’T BE A DEADBEAT

  • We might refuse your order (we’re picky). If we cancel, we’ll try to tell you (check spam, loser).
  • Keep your info updated. Wrong card? Your vibe ain’t shipping.



SECTION 7 - THIRD-PARTY CRAP

  • We link to other sites. They’re not our problem. If you get scammed, cry to them, not us.


SECTION 8 - YOUR COMMENTS: MAKE ‘EM WEIRD (BUT LEGAL)

  • Send us memes, rants, or “why your toy broke” — we can use ‘em however we want (no pay, sorry).
  • Don’t post illegal, gross, or mean stuff. We can delete it (and block you) if we feel like it.
  • Be yourself (no fake emails). Lie, and we’ll mock you in our group chat.



SECTION 9 - YOUR SECRETS ARE SAFE (KIND OF)

  • We handle your info like it’s a dirty secret (because it is). Read our “Duck’s Peeping Policy” (privacy policy) for the deets.



SECTION 10 - MISTAKES HAPPEN (WE’RE HUMAN… OR DUCKS)

  • Typos, wrong prices, oops — we’ll fix ‘em. Might cancel orders if we mess up. No hard feelings?



SECTION 11 - THINGS YOU CAN’T DO (OR ELSE)

  • No illegal stuff, hate speech, or hacking.
  • No stealing our memes, logos, or “Ducktor Q. Quack” — that’s our brand of chaos.
  • No harassing other users (we see you, creeps).



SECTION 12 - WE’RE NOT LIABLE FOR YOUR BAD DECISIONS

  • The site might crash (ducks tripped over the server). We’re not paying for your “emotional distress”.
  • If you hate the toy, that’s on you. No refunds for “buyer’s remorse” (again, check the return policy).
  • In legal terms: we’re not liable for consequential damages. Blame your therapist, not us.



SECTION 13 - YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT

  • If you get us sued (because you used our toy to rob a bank), you’ll pay our legal bills. Fair?


SECTION 14 - LAWS: WE PICK (SORRY)

  • These rules follow Delaware, USA laws (we’re registered there, don’t ask).


SECTION 15 - WE CAN BOOT YOU ANYTIME

  • Break these rules, and you’re out. No refunds, no appeals.


SECTION 16 - TALK TO US (IF YOU MUST)

  • Complaints? Send memes to [ducklaw@worryfreemall.com]. We’ll reply when we stop laughing.


P.S. You only pay shipping once (even for returns). No restocking fees — we’re not monsters.



© 2025 Worry-Free