🚚 Duck’s Delivery Manifesto 🦆📦
We ship chaos, not boring boxes—with extra care (and zero judgment) 😌

⏳ Processing: How Long Till We Stop Procrastinating?

Your order does a little duck dance in our system for 1–3 business days (no weekends, sorry—even ducks need naps) before we pack it. We’ll toss in some late-night coffee stains for authenticity ☕
Heads up, weirdos:

• Big stuff (dolls, furniture, things that look like they belong in a sci-fi orgy) is made just for you—no dusty warehouse junk. These might take an extra 2–5 days to birth into the world 👀

🌍 Shipping Time: Your Package’s Wild Adventure

We deliver to every corner of the globe (yes, even your mom’s basement). Here’s how long the chaos takes:

• Standard goodies: 7–14 business days after shipping (track ’em like a nosy neighbor)
  
• Big/custom/furniture chaos: 15–30 business days (worth the wait—these things need therapy before traveling)

Once your package escapes our warehouse, we’ll hit you with a tracking number. Stalk it like it owes you money 🕵️♂️

• We partner with boring-but-reliable carriers (ducks can’t fly that far, okay?)
  
• Oversized items might split up like a toxic couple—separate boxes, same end goal (your doorstep)
  
• No express shipping. Patience is a virtue… and we’re cheap. Good vibes take time ⏳

💰 Shipping Fees: We’re Greedy, But Fair

Free shipping exists! If you’re not a cheapskate:

🔥 Duck’s Discount Alert

Spend $69+ and buy at least 2 items? We eat the shipping cost. You’re welcome.

• Orders under $69: Fees calculated at checkout (based on how much your stuff weighs—no hidden “duck tax”)
  
• Furniture/heavy stuff: Extra fees may apply (we’ll yell about it before you pay, promise)

📦 Privacy: Your Secret’s Safe With Us

We’re better at hiding things than your ex hides their new partner.

• All boxes are boring as hell: No logos, no hints, just a plain brown rectangle (your mailman will never side-eye you)
  
• Billing statements? We’ll call it “WFM Merch” or something—no “Mystery Tentacle” on your bank app 😉

🦆 FAQ: Stuff You’ll Whine About

Q: Why isn’t this as fast as Amazon?

A: Because we’re not soulless robots. We hand-pack your weirdness with care, not algorithms 💅

Q: Can I get it faster?

A: No. But we’ll send you memes while you wait.

Q: International shipping?

A: Duh. We’ve got ducks in every country. 🌍

📧 Help! My Package Ghosted Me

Email: [worryfreeadultmall@gmail.com] (include memes for priority service)

We reply in 24–48 hours—unless we’re napping or arguing with the delivery guy 😴

Final quack: Your package’s journey is weird, just like you. Enjoy the wait.